Questions in my life

Ive been away for so long since I last updated, and I guess it will be that way till I can be free to blog more often in the future. But it has been kinda rough on me the past months and Im seeking for answers.

Where will I go after Secondary 4? Should I aimlessly go to a Poly and drift from there? Or should I aim for a dream? But even so, what dream? What is my ambition?  What is my passion? What do I want to be? That is something I ask myself daily after having a talk to my friends of their future lives.

One migrates to Paris to study fashion in University at 16 , and becomes CEO at age 20 , while another aiming to be environmental lawyer. Me? I dont know. I want to find my passion,  but I dont know if I have one. That is one question I seek. What is my passion and what do I do after O's?

A second question in my mind. Why do I still feel empty in my heart, even after we have not been talking and meeting up already at all. Why is it possible that I always shed tears of sorrow after reading her messages and blog posts towards me? Why do I think of her in my dreams every now and then...But most importantly,  why cant I let her go now? Perhaps I have not gotten over her. Perhaps I need her to fall in love with someone else to let me be free. Then that invisible chain that holds me back will disappear and then we will both be happy. She with her new man that loves her till death shall part them , and I will be able to live life without regrets and worry.

This assumption may be true. So if u are reading this, dear SK, find love with another man. The man that will make u happy. Only then we will both be happy and free. The promise to bring u stargazing, can only be fulfilled in other parts of the world. Singapore has no place for stargazing. So drop the idea if ur thinking of stargazing in Sg. Sorry for the disappointment.

I still have to meet up with others back in the kampong. I wonder when we will all see each other again, and I hope it will be soon .
I miss everyone alot . Perhaps one of them, V or J, can help me get over her, I hope.

My blog still sucks, I know. It may not be completed be end of December. So yeah sorry. I know it is tough to read the posts for people who are on mobile. Just switch it to the web version. Merry Christmas everyone :)